CFZ PEOPLE: Happy Birthday, Olivia

WHAT HAVE OLIVIA AND AARON FOUND?

My beloved younger stepdaughter and her significant other write: 'Look at what we discovered yesterday at Holt Country Park!? What looks like a mummified rabbit in a tree?? We were incredibly disgusted and curious as to how it got there.' She went on to say that they estimated it as being about 1m long. I asked for permission to post it on the bloggo and she replied 'Yep you may post it as long as Aaron and I get a marvellous photography mention xxx'

So I did. Has anyone any idea what it is and why?

CFZ PEOPLE: Olivia McCarthy

Many happy returns to my darling younger stepdaughter Olivia. Happy Birthday honeypie...

...and Mama says

PRU IN NEW COLLAR

Olivia bought Prudence a new collar - pink designer studded leather. It makes Pru look stylish, svelte and ever so slightly menacing. A bit like my youngest step-daughter, then....

(Top Picture) Prudence models her new collar
(Bottom picture) And at the end of the day, three tired ones rest....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLIVIA

Happy birthday, my dear - you (and your sister) make me the proudest stepdad in the multiverse....


...and her Mama writes

MORE UNICORNS

A few days ago as part of his series on crypto Hallowe'en costumes Robert Schneck posted a centaur costume. So we had to top that. Here (from Corinna's archives) are my two delightful stepdaughters many years ago. And on the right is Olivia dressed as a unicorn...

THANK YOU OLIVIA

I adore my two step-daughters, and it is always nice to see them. When Olivia (the younger) telephoned to ask if it was OK to visit us on Thursday night, we of course said that it was. I knew that she wanted to try and comfort her mother who is still very upset after recent events. What I didn't know was that she was planning to make doggie gravestones for Biggles (2008-2010) and Tess (1992-2008) to mark where the little fellows lie. When we saw them in situ Olivia, Corinna and I burst into tears whereas Ivan (who had a hangover) and Graham (who didn't) just looked suitably solemn...

Thank you, my dear.

WEIRD WEEKEND SCRAPBOOK: Parties and rumours

The Weird Weekend cocktail party took place yesterday evening and in contrast with last year's event, which got a little out of hand with too much noise and 120 high spirited drunks bouncing around my garden, it was a jolly and well behaved event.

About 35 people were there, which was a little disappointing; it would have been nice to have a few more, but it was great fun, and - just like the old days - Olivia, Ivan, Max, Richard F, Dave Baldwin, Gavin L-W, Corinna and I sat around in my kitchen with Biggles, and chewed the fat until the wee small hours.

First up this morning was Olivia, followed by Biggles and me. Only Ivan looked at all worse for wear.

When I was a young punk a band whose name I completely forget issued a press release stating that the lead singer categorically denied that he had been having an affair with Farrah Fawcett. It was a particularly tawdry publicity stunt and worked so well that I can't remember who they were.

A peculiar rumour seems to have been doing the rounds.
Apparently someone on Facebook has been claiming that the special guest we have advertised on Saturday afternoon is Stephen Spielberg. The world famous director dude is currently filming on Dartmoor, but has NOT been booked to appear at the WW and I think that it is monumentally unlikely that he has even heard of the CFZ, let alone planning to visit us.

I am mildly annoyed about this because I would hate anyone to think that we would stoop to planting false stories in the press and on the internet in order to boost ticket sales.

We leave that sort of chicanery to other people.

OLIVIA McCARTHY: Swept under the carpet

All families have skeletons in their closets (not literally of course, although some of the weirder ones might). Perhaps a distant yet wealthy relative has an unfortunate ‘accident’ resulting in said wealth being conveniently inherited by you? Or maybe a random individual turns up on the doorstep 20 years after you had a one night stand, claiming to be your child…?

If you’re reading this blog, then it’s quite likely that you have heard of/met/are good friends with Jonathan Downes. When my mother met him (and ultimately ended up marrying him), I will admit that it took a little while to get used to his rather bizarre behaviour and general way of life. A man so eccentric, peculiar and beardy must surely have some skeletons in his closet, or shocking secrets swept under the carpet? Should I expect to hear about a recently departed millionaire step-uncle, or to be introduced to a similarly beardy young man, named Jon Junior?

Needless to say, I shouldn’t have worried. Having moved into his previous residence (and the previous CFZ headquarters) around seven months ago, and having just got round to lifting up the old carpet this weekend, I can safely say that all that was swept under Jon’s carpet was some cotton buds, several pieces of assorted cutlery, a crushed food container and plenty of dust.
Note: Jon Downes is the best stepfather in the world!

SEASON OF GOODWILL AT THE CFZ...the ongoing story

Well, Oll has gone home to Wales for the next ten days, although I have to say that I am very grateful to him for continuing to do Yesterday's New Today whilst on his holidays.

So it is just me, Corinna, Biggles and Graham.

Yesterday we had a trailer-load of logs delivered - not bad for £65, I thought, but I was mildly perturbed at the fact that they caused a veritable road block of the lane outside our house. Note Biggles investigating what turned out to be a dead vole at the side of the road.

Then, for reasons best known to himself, Graham put the logs into the log bin by the process of hurling them from the gate, much to the entertainment of Biggles who started to bark wildly and chase them.

This was obviously something that was not really sustainable in the long term, so after about ten minutes of this he came into the office to help me work on the CFZ 2010 Yearbook while Graham finished doing his lumberjack bit. I was waiting for him to sing the song, but he didn't.

We ended up with far more logs than we had bargained for and Graham ended up bringing four wheelbarrow loads in to stack by the fire. I am seriously looking at getting a woodburning stove for the Dining Room for next year. The price of oil is rising so high that the aga, which was once an economic way of heating the house, is becoming an expensive luxury, whereas wood is cheap and sustainable.


Cryptozoologists are often supposed to be trudging through the snow, following footprints of mysterious animals, and for once we (and by that I mean Graham) was doing exactly what the public supposes us to do.

The mystery animal is not a yeti, however, nor is it a waheela. It is Corinna's rabbit, Maureen, who has escaped and for two days now is refusing to come home, even though she is going no further than twenty feet away from her hutch, and spends considerable amounts of time nuzzling noses with Pringle (Olivia's rabbit) who is still safe at home.

PURELY FOR OLIVIA

Both my darling stepdaughters are very dear to me. Olivia, the youngest, now lives in mine and Richard's old home in Exeter, and asked for a pair of small, tropical freshwater shrimp as a graduation present. The `Graduation Shrimp` were promptly purchased, and installed in the aquarium that currently holds our nascent colony of Heterandaria formosa - the seventh smallest fish in the world.

Knowing Olivia's tastes in peculiarly sweet aquatic life, therefore, here is a piglet squid...

"Meet Smiling Mr. Squidlet"

"He could almost be a new Mr Men character with his rotund shape, cute curls and shy smile. But this is really a piglet squid caught in a rare image on camera. His tentacles made what looks like a mop of curly hair over his large eyes while his skin patterns created a grin. The small squid, which is the size of a large orange, is normally found more than 320ft (100m) below the ocean surface, meaning little is known of its behaviour. Measuring just 4in in length the species has unusual pigmentation and acquired its name from its tuft of arms and tentacles, and rotund shape. Because of its deep water habit, little is known of the behaviour of the squid, although not surprisingly, judging by its body shape, it is known to be a sluggish swimmer.

Properly called Helicocranchia pfefferi, the animals are also noted for the light producing organs known as photophores located beneath each of their large eyes. This specimen was collected by the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium in San Pedro, California, where director Mike Schaat managed to capture it on film."

OLIVIA MY DEER

The other day I posted a photograph and an appeal for an identification for a small cervid which was donated to us from the collection of Lionel Beer's late father.

Robert Schneck wrote:

"Hi Jon, I don't know anything about deer, but the stuffed head reminds me of a mule deer.

Do you know its size?"

Well the scientific way of answering this would have been to take measurements of all its statistics, and post them to Robert, together with a sample of hair. However, we pride ourselves on our unorthodox modus operandi as far as problem solving is concerned. So here is a picture of my lovely step-daughter Olivia showing off her new dreadlocks and waving the afore-mentioned dead deer in the vague direction of the camera.

Science eh?

CFZ PEOPLE: Olivia

After three years of study at Portsmouth University, my darling stepdaughter Olivia has today taken the last of her final examinations. So well done Olivia and all the best for results day.

Alas her elder sister, (my equally darling stepdaughter) Shosh, is still studying for her finals, which don't take place until the end of this month, so we take this opportunity also to wish her well in her continuing revision (with some soppy stepfatherly hugs).