The Gonzo Daily - Monday
And so another week begins (yes, I know
Sunday is the first day of the week, but you know what I mean). Yesterday was a
little peculiar because of a mistake of mine which is impacting the rest of the
week. As regular readers will know, for the last six years we have had a small
colony of an unidentified species of cichlid, known only as Aequidens sp. Peru.
The colony has been ruled with an iron fin by a huge male that I keep on
thinking that I should give a name. A few weeks ago there was a big fight in the
tank and when I came down one morning all the fish appeared to be dead, and we
buried them all in the compost heap with a twinge of sadness. So yesterday, when
i was telephoned by a charming lady called Melanie asking of we could give an
emergency home to an 8in long cobalt blue freshwater lobster from New Guinea I
said yes. They could go in the old cichlid tank, and the two spot gouramis which
were the only inhabitants could be moved. I said as much to Graham who looked
quizzically at me. "But what about those two?" he said, pointing at the quondam
cichlid tank. I was just about to say something scathing about people who
returned from a Hawkwind concert too befuddled to tell a light blue gourami from
a dark brown cichlid, when I glanced in the direction he was pointing, and there
- bold as brass - was the still un-named huge male, and there at the other side
of the tank was a small but sexually mature female. How the hell I missed a
large fish that is something like six inches long I have no idea, but it says
something rather dubious about my powers of observation.
So today there is a complicated game of
"shuffle the tanks" going to go on, as Corinna's cane toads go into a new Viv in
the kitchen (under her Vietnamese stick insects) and an empty tank from the
conservatory is brought inside for the delectation of the lobster, whose name
(apparently) is "Lobby". Life is so much easier for people who limit their
animal companions to a well behaved spaniel, or perhaps a
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See you tomorrow...
* The Gonzo Daily is - as the name implies - a
daily online magazine (mostly) about artists connected to the Gonzo Multimedia
group of companies. But it also has other stuff as and when the editor feels
like it. The same team also do a weekly newsletter called - imaginatively - The
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* Jon Downes, the Editor of all these ventures (and several
others) is an old hippy of 54 who - together with his orange cat (who is
currently on sick leave in Staffordshire) and two very small kittens (one of
whom is also orange) puts it all together from a converted potato shed in a
tumbledown cottage deep in rural Devon which he shares with various fish, and
sometimes a small Indian frog. He is ably assisted by his lovely wife Corinna,
his bulldog/boxer Prudence, his elderly mother-in-law, and a motley collection
of social malcontents. Plus.. did we mention the orange