CFZ PEOPLE: Naomi West

Happy Birthday, honey

NAOMI AND HER RATS

BLUE DOG: Naomi sent this (and yes, hun, it does have a ridiculously long tail)

NAOMI WEST: Puddle Monster V - The Terror Continues

I was gone all day today, running errands. When I got home, I was startled to discover a gathering of Wiccans surrounding my valve box, attempting to call up the puddle monster. I guess word travels fast. (I hated to interrupt, but I had to request that they leave because my husband needed to trim weeds.) However, apparently their ritual worked because after dark I was able to catch the clearest picture yet of the monster. I have already been accused of photo-shopping, but I give you my word that this picture is authentic. I feel very honoured to have this mysterious and elusive creature living in my flooded valve box. I am appealing to the Environmental Protection Agency, as my husband is making plans to repair the valve box and ruin the monster's habitat.

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NAOMI WEST: Puddle Monster IV - The Terror Revealed

Finally! I got a pic! I camped out by the puddle for a long time, camera ready. After several long minutes sweating in the Texas sun, I heard some sort of vocalization. I would have assumed it was a frog, except that I believe the sound came from the puddle monster. Sure enough, seconds later, a small, barely perceptible form emerged from the water, staying just at the surface. I snapped the camera, but when I went to move in closer, the creature submerged itself again. But I DID get the picture. I believe it to be the head of the creature. If you can't see in the first pic, I have circled it for you in the second pic.

NAOMI WEST: Puddle Monster 3 - The Nightmare Continues...

I wrote to Naomi last night, and asked whether there was any more news. She replied:

This creature is more elusive than I originally thought. I have tried all kinds of different ways to capture it on film, even just get a glimpse of it with the naked eye. I thought for sure I saw it sitting by the puddle yesterday, but when I reached the puddle, there was no trace of it. There was, however, dirt stirred up at the bottom of the puddle, which tells me it – or something – had recently leaped in. My dog Salem made a lunge for it, but I grabbed her just in time. No telling what could have happened.

One interesting thing I’ve noted is that there are never any bugs around the puddle, none whatsoever. I take it that the energy from this -- whatever it is – frightens them off.
I contacted a research team to conduct an investigation using sonar and underwater photography. They arrived this morning, but left after discovering their equipment was too large to fit in the valve box.

My brother, whom I haven’t even told about the monster, was walking past the valve box yesterday when he accidentally dropped some change into it. Before I could even get the door open to warn him, he reached into the valve box, fished the change out, and walked on. It was one of the most astonishing things I’ve ever seen. I asked him if he’d seen or felt anything in the water, and he said no. It makes me wonder if, perhaps, this creature can slip in and out of another dimension….

I tried soliciting the help of my next-door neighbour, thinking that since she has lived here so long she might have heard of the puddle monster. But when I mentioned it, she looked fearful, crossed herself, and shut the door in my face. So now I’m working on getting a 20-person expedition underway to investigate the valve box further. For now, the mystery remains.

I don't know why the ongoing saga of this elusive batrachian is so gripping. But it is....

NAOMI WEST AND HER MYSTERY INSECT

Naomi writes: 'I don't think I've ever seen this bug before. Isn't it pretty?' It certainly is, we agree, but what is it?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAOMI

A very happy birthday to Naomi, who is one of my favourite people. Whilst we were in Texas last year she became more like a scatty little sister than a mere friend, and we are counting the days until the dear girl and her long-suffering husband Richie (who is another one of our favourite people, but it's not his birthday) come to visit us in June...

OWLMAN JOLLITIES

RICHIE WEST WROTE:

As you may know, Naomi and I are field investigators for MUFON. I recently received a call from the chief state investigaor. He knows we are avid crypto-enthusiasts. He asked us to look into a case of an owlman-type sighting in San Antonio. It seems that it had never been fully investigated and he wants us to follow up on the case. It occurred a while back in April 2009. Here is the description provided by the witness(es):

"I was talking on my cell at the end of my sidewalk by the steet when I turned around facing my house and saw this huge black man bird thing gliding without a noise coming from the east maybe the distance would be like three streets over but about maybe five blocks down.[which three steets over there isnt five blocks because the woods are two blocks down. When i saw this I was stunned and stared at it trying to figure out what it was and then I saw it wasnt anything Ive ever seen. I ran into the house and yelled at my husband and my grown son to get out here quick. They came but seemed like forever and they looked and saw it too. When they saw it they thing was like the a few streets over and then disappeared behind the big trees. When we saw it we all said that no one would believe us; but I have recently been talking about it because it has bothered me so much. I lived in this neighborhood all my life and I can remember of three UFO sightings since I was five and all the sightings were in this neighborhood or around Stinson Field airport. I never came forward about them because people think ya lost your ever loving mind until recently when others Ive spoke with shared their experiences. I have other stories but this one is the most recent and I was wondering if anyone has ever seen this thing. It is silent like it was a glider but I could see the body was exactly like a man a very large man. Thank you for listening to me and I hope you dont think we have gone mad too. I called my daughter and told her afterwards and thats what made my mind up to stay silent. I had my darn cell on my the whole time and not once thought of taking a picture it happened so fast and Im not that savy on the cell."

Naomi puts her ha'pennorth in; I wonder whether you can guess what she is reading.

IS NAOMI TELEPATHIC?

As regular readers will know, I have always been very fond of Naomi West. Her blog (All this Pudding) is consistently entertaining and well worth reading, and in her latest posting she ponders the question of whether she is telepathic.

Check it out. And while you are doing so, check out this highly fortean synchronicity story.

NAOMI WEST IS DESPERATELY SEEKING ROSIE

Jon, I just found out about this place and I can’t wait to go visit. It’s in Colorado and it’s called the Butterfly Pavilion. There is a Crawl-a-see-um where kids can hold a tarantula named Rosie. Here is the link: http://www.butterflies.org/

BLANCO BLUE DOG: DNA results

We have just received the interim DNA results from the Blanco blue dog carcass. Richie and Naomi retrieved tissue samples last year and they have languished in Naomi's freezer ever since. The DNA report from Davis Labs in California is only partly conclusive. They write: "Because it was a female, we could not examine the paternal lineage markers. We detected coyote in the sample, but the maternal lineage was non-coyote. It will take some more detective work to figure out if it is dog or wolf".


We shall be sending samples to Lars very soon for more tests.

NAOMI WEST: Black deer

The other day Naomi told us that her brother had seen a melanistic deer near where she and Richie live. She followed it up with this link discussing how more black deer, which are rare in North America, are being spotted in Texas.

http://www.buckmanager.com/2008/07/21/more-black-deer-spotted-in-texas/

NAOMI WEST: Identify this bug

MORE PICS FROM NAOMI

...or in this case her friend Becky. It is an American moon moth btw.

BREAKING NEWS

Ken Gerhard will today take receipt of a blue dog carcass, road-killed somewhere near Fayetteville, TX. It will be stored in Naomi's long-suffering freezer. What happens then, we don't know. Watch this space!

NAOMI WEST: My own reality show

I have decided that I am the subject of a reality show I have not been told about, sort of like The Truman Show with Jim Carrey. And the goal is to create as many weird situations as possible in my classroom and see how successfully I can still teach.

I got this notion in my head yesterday when a pair of jeans was mysteriously left in my classroom. “There’s a pair of pants in here!” someone declared. Without even looking, I told them to put the pants over with the other clothes that have been left over the year. Later on, another student discovered them and tried to peddle them. But nobody bought them so they are still there, draped over a milk crate. I don’t recall seeing anyone leaving class without any pants on, but then again I also missed it when Kurt removed his pants for a few seconds on a dare during 3rd hour. What was I doing that I could miss that? I guess you’d have to review old posts about my 3rd hour but it could have been anything from breaking up a game of Ninja to assisting an asthmatic who keeps forgetting his inhaler.

But it’s not just third hour: today during 6th hour (my very best class and the closest yet to a traditional classroom atmosphere), just after we had gone quiet and begun reading Romeo and Juliet, Timothy* suddenly reached out and slammed his fist down on the water bottle on Ian’s desk, sending it crashing loudly to the floor. A stunned silence ensued, during which I buried my face in my hand, then continued reading with no further disruption. I found out that later that Ian had fallen asleep and Timothy was attempting to wake him up.

We aren’t allowed to let students sleep; we have been told more than once that principals don’t want to see any heads down. But I don’t care anymore and here is why: yesterday I suddenly realised that my 3rd hour had fallen quiet and learning was taking place. I looked around to find the key performers of the usual circus were out cold, and whether it was a coincidence or they had all partaken of the vodka that some students were found putting in the slushies at lunch, I was quite happy. “I know people are sleeping,” I said pleasantly to the rest of the class, “I’m just going to let them sleep.”

It's never as bad in 1st hour when nothing much happens beyond someone calling out, “Does anyone have any gum?” But I wasn’t prepared for 7th hour when out of the blue Trey turned to the class and asked if anyone knew how to juggle. I asked him why he needed to know that and he said that that he wanted to learn. And that was that. I guess nobody knew because I’m certain they’d have stood and demonstrated.

Kenny took 3rd hour to a whole new level of chaos yesterday when he jumped up and ran out of the room. I took off after him just in time to see him leap into the air and smack one of the hallway ceiling tiles, then start back into the classroom. “What are you doing?” I asked him. He replied, “Keith told me I couldn’t do it so I showed him.”

It’s only the mornings before the kids enter the building that bring some peace and quiet, but even those can present unexpected events: this morning I found a cell phone on my overhead projector. With the help of some kids during 7th hour, we discovered it belonged to a senior. I tracked down the senior and found it had been stolen from him that morning. I had never seen this kid in my life, but whatever kid (out of the 2100 at CCHS) stole his phone chose to leave it in my room. Because clearly my room contains a divinely-installed vacuum that sucks all reason and order within a 50,000 square-foot radius.

And don’t think it ends after school either. Some of the kids are just getting started. Today I had my usual crew hanging out when suddenly Kelsea (“Voice of Condemnation” for those who know that story) burst into my room to spill a confession to me about having falsified her identity to the office today. I can’t figure out how I went from being the target of her hatred to her priest but nothing fazes me anymore.

She then handed me a cell phone that she had just found in the soccer field. She knew whose it was but didn’t want to be in possession of it in case it had a tracking device. I found it interesting that my day began and ended with a missing cell phone, but in a few minutes the owner came to claim it. I didn’t know him or the two friends he brought with him, but within the few seconds they entered and exited my room, one of them had managed to fasten a condom over the doorknob. Before I could even react, the male teacher next door suddenly stormed onto the scene. He demanded the names of the offenders and made them throw the condom away (so of course, it went into my trashcan). I pretty much just watched all this wordlessly - because, like I said, I’m the subject of a reality show and am now viewing it with detached curiosity.

Somewhere in that black hole of chaos, there is a cosmic camera installed for the amusement of some divine being. I foresee a second Genesis: 'In the beginning, God created Mrs West’s class. And it was without form....'

NAOMI WEST: Which swallow is this?

Jon

I got weary searching whether our porch birds are Cave Swallows or Cliff Swallows, since they look so similar but none of the pictures online show as much white on the wing as our female, so I'm creating a new category called Porch Birds, which safely covers all birds that nest on the eaves of a porch.

That way they are easy to identify -- kind of like Pet Store Fish vs. Big Water Fish.


You might remember that last year these two birds roosted on our porch every night but had no visible nest nearby. I never knew if they had a nest around or not, but I'm assuming they did. This year they have built it in the corner right across from the front door. That should be interesting when the babies are born, as my friend Dana has suggested I won't be allowed in the vicinity. We'll see.

Naomi

NAOMI WEST: Monsters - a softer side

For the past five years I have taught The Odyssey to my high school students. And each year I am intrigued by our textbook’s reprint of a painting depicting the Cyclops Polyphemus as a furry, long-necked creature with the soft, one-eyed gaze of a gentle pet.


This Cyclops strikes me as vulnerable, not the sort of creature that would snatch up men to eat them alive and drool pieces of them afterward in drunken hiccups.

Yesterday as my students were reading the gruesome scene with Polyphemus, I read the caption of the painting, which explained that its French artist, Odilon Redon, had wanted to portray a sympathetic cyclops.


This concept isn’t a complete fabrication: one of the most striking elements of the scene with Polyphemus is the gentleness he displays toward his sheep even as he gorges himself on men.

When the young Dawn with fingertips of rose
lit up the world, the Cyclops built a fire
and milked his handsome ewes, all in due order,
putting the sucklings to the mothers. Then,
his chores being all dispatched, he caught
another brace of men to make his breakfast,
and whisked away his great door slab
to let his sheep go through…

Upon each reading, I find myself oddly moved by the gentle shepherding of Polyphemus. The juxtaposition of his care for his sheep with his brutality toward Odysseus’s men leaves me feeling ambivalent and examining my own nature. While I am certainly not a cannibal or even a murderer, I understand feeling occasional hostility toward my fellow humans while caring deeply for animals. Most animal-lovers can attest to the same.

Beyond this common disillusionment with people, however, I find that I am slower than some to label any strange creature a 'monster.' What constitutes a monster? Something that kills and eats its food? That’s most of us but only people make a sport of it. Something that looks unfamiliar, like the Texas Blue Dog? In report after report, I hear the Blue Dogs described as 'ugly.' A man in Tennessee even stated, “It looks something out of ‘you know where’.” Assuming he meant hell, I observed a picture of the dog he had killed and tried to see what he was seeing. It was probably the fangs, the dark skin, the eyes shut tight against any possible expression of emotion. Still, I can’t see anything sinister in photographs or videos of live ones.

Then there were the paintings and drawings in Nick Redfern’s study, most of them of the Owlman/Mothman. Many of these in particular looked like something out of ‘you know where’ as well, but I found myself staring with a slight, unexpected affinity at one. It certainly wasn’t because of its demonically glowing red eyes; maybe it was the furriness of its form. There is something about fur that softens people toward a creature – and something about the lack thereof that does the opposite, as many dead Blue Dogs could attest to.

So, while I still can’t quite define what constitutes a monster, what makes one person shoot a Blue Dog while another feeds it food scraps, or what makes a part of me like the vicious Polyphemus, I finally came to terms with my feelings for the cyclops and purchased a reprint of the painting yesterday. He will soon be hanging in my study, which may be well on its way to bearing its own wall of 'monsters.'

Excuses and Welcomes....

I'm rather late today in composing my blog posting. This is completely off-topic but last night I was out with my boyfriend Paul in Manchester. However, slightly on-topic was the decor of the bar we chose to spend the evening in. I wish I had photos. I was sitting for three hours just a foot away from a life-size wooden carving of a Komodo dragon. Over the other end of the room was another type of wooden lizard (also enormous) that I couldn't identify.

There were giant butterflies on the wall, gigantic plants in humungous vases, and they sold Dragon beer!

Anyhow, to business: today is the last Downesless day the CFZ in the UK will have to endure. Yesterday Naomi and Richie West waved goodbye to Jon and Corinna at the end of the 2010 Texas Blue Dog expedition. If you haven't been following the blue dog blog, then shame on you! The Downeses and Wests collected an unbelievable amount of evidence and information, and I for one, am hugely excited by it all.

And I'm sure that you will be excited at the prospect of having to read my witterings only once in a blue moon again, rather than the daily efforts of the last two weeks...

Welcome home, Corinna and Jon!!!