Tuesday, September 18, 2012
"There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before." - Robert Lynd
And so to the latest collection:
Cruelty of bird sanctuary owner caught kicking and...
The government today made it legal for farmers to shoot poor people, insisting it was a mere oversight which they will correct just as soon as they have time.
The licence gives farmers permission to shoot up to 70% of poor people in certain designated areas referred to in the licence as ‘Labour strongholds’.
Defra Minister David Heath said: “Our priority has always been to ensure that any culling of poor people is carried out in a safe, humane and effective way.”
“Did I say poor people again? I mean badgers, obviously.”
“But we simply had to had to do something, they’re multiplying in rural areas, a nuisance to landowners and they carry disease – and the badgers aren’t much better.”
The cull has received criticism from people suddenly in the firing line of the nearest angry farmer, with many insisting there is little evidence culling actually works.
As one tory backbencher explained, “All you end up doing is shooting the weaker ones, making the herd stronger.”
“And trust me, no-one wants that. Imagine having a strong highly motivated herd of poor people running about the place – Heaven forbid.”
A Defra spokesperson addressed concerns, telling reporters, “The pilot will be run under strict conditions, and we’ll decide afterwards whether it is effective in controlling the spread of poor people, I mean bovine TB.”
- Poor people and their ways ‘morally wrong’ says government minister
- Government urges poor people to die younger
- Poor people encouraged to just accept rich people are better than them
- Government hands private investors opportunity to buy poor people
- ‘Stop badger cull’ says scientist shaped like wobbly tower of badgers
Previous post: GCSEs to be replaced with scratch cards
The Gonzo Daily is a two way process. If you have any news or want to write for us, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you are an artist and want to showcase your work, or even just say hello please write to me at email@example.com. Please copy, paste and spread the word about this magazine as widely as possible. We need people to read us in order to grow, and as soon as it is viable we shall be invading more traditional magaziney areas. Join in the fun, spread the word, and maybe if we all chant loud enough we CAN stop it raining. See you tomorrow...
The Gonzo Daily is - as the name implies - a daily online magazine (mostly) about artists connected to the Gonzo Multimedia group of companies. But it also has other stuff as and when the editor feels like it. The Editor is an old hippy of 53 who - together with his orange cat - puts it all together from a converted potato shed in a tumbledown cottage deep in rural Devon. He is ably assisted by his lovely wife Corinna, his bulldog/boxer Prudence, and a motley collection of social malcontents. Plus.. did we mention the orange cat?
On this day in 1991 the mummified body of Otzi was found in the Alps. Allegedly the body is cursed too, but I'm sure the thousands of people that file past it in it's little museum who apparently don't die violently are probably proof that it's about as cursed as the pickled soft shell turtle in the CFZ museum.
And now the news:
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!!! (you've got to love 'edited for language versions of classic films) :
Did you know that the longest recorded flight of a chicken is purported to be 13 seconds?
And here are the stories from yesterday:
Mentor woman reunited with pet bird (with video)