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It’s Friday and that means it’s time for the Friday Fact:
Have you ever wondered how vending machines work? It’s actually a closely guarded secret. Sure, the companies that make them will tell you that there is a little thing inside that weighs the coins, but that’s only half the story. What they fail to mention is that that little thing inside is a tiny man. They are kept inside a small locked compartment in the vending machine that only employees of the vending machine company, who have been sworn to secrecy after joining the secret brotherhood of vending machine repairmen, can open. The little men, who are all bred and grown in vats of globby stuff near Welwyn Garden City, are all called Doug, and can gain all the nutrients their body needs to survive from eating metal coins. Because of this each Doug must keep a stack of coins as emergency rations, whenever the ‘use exact change’ light comes on that is when a Doug is collecting coins for his stock pile. As a coin comes in a Doug will weigh it using a balance and brass weights almost as big as he is, then note the coin in his ledger. Sadly, each Doug only has a life expectancy of 30 years, the first 21 years of which are spent attending secret coin weighing schools and coin weighing universities to get their coin weighing degrees. When a Doug dies he collapses into a vile-smelling putrid mass, which permeates the whole machine and can never be washed out; that is why you never see soft drinks vending machines that look older than 10 years old.
So now you know the sad truth about vending machines and the lonely lives led by their operators, I hope next time you use one you at least shout “Thanks Doug!” down the slot; I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. And now, the news:
Miracle Moggy Survives Fire and Bulldozers
Giant parrot attacks policeman
Drought threatens Kenya's elephants
Arach-and-roll - The David Bowie Spider
Georgian fossils 'indicate humans lived in Europe thousands of years earlier'
London Museum Opens Charles Darwin Exhibit
I think we can all agree that is epic Dar-win.
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