WELCOME TO THE CFZ BLOG NETWORK: COME AND JOIN THE FUN

Half a century ago, Belgian Zoologist Bernard Heuvelmans first codified cryptozoology in his book On the Track of Unknown Animals.

The Centre for Fortean Zoology (CFZ) are still on the track, and have been since 1992. But as if chasing unknown animals wasn't enough, we are involved in education, conservation, and good old-fashioned natural history! We already have three journals, the largest cryptozoological publishing house in the world, CFZtv, and the largest cryptozoological conference in the English-speaking world, but in January 2009 someone suggested that we started a daily online magazine! The CFZ bloggo is a collaborative effort by a coalition of members, friends, and supporters of the CFZ, and covers all the subjects with which we deal, with a smattering of music, high strangeness and surreal humour to make up the mix.

It is edited by CFZ Director Jon Downes, and subbed by the lovely Lizzy Bitakara'mire (formerly Clancy), scourge of improper syntax. The daily newsblog is edited by Corinna Downes, head administratrix of the CFZ, and the indexing is done by Lee Canty and Kathy Imbriani. There is regular news from the CFZ Mystery Cat study group, and regular fortean bird news from 'The Watcher of the Skies'. Regular bloggers include Dr Karl Shuker, Dale Drinnon, Richard Muirhead and Richard Freeman.The CFZ bloggo is updated daily, and there's nothing quite like it anywhere else. Come and join us...

Search This Blog

Loading...

Saturday, June 06, 2009

MONTAUK MONSTER REVEALED

It all started with a mealy mouthed story from Fox News, who probably have not forgiven me for my social faux pas in making a Charles Manson joke to one of their reporters whilst on camera and (I think) live TV. In a typically mealy mouthed way they reported that the blog of some dude called Drew Grant's, "which has a not-safe-for-work name we won't repeat", has just solved the mystery of the Montauk Monster.

Being a juvenile cove, I was intrigued. Was the blog called C*****F*****erx or Po****%^&* Merchants, or even N******Scum***H****? Nope it was called "AssMe.org" which was obviously the person in charge comparing himself to the domesticated subspecies of an equid called Equus africanus (or possibly a related species).

I really don't know what the fuss is.


I don't know who Drew Grant is either, but he tells a very convincing story of how the Montauk Monster, with strange bandage like ties around the extremities of its limbs, ended up on Montauk Beach.

It was surfer dudes with a peculiar sense of humour.

Cowabunga!!

Last summer, apparently three unnamed surfers were "goofing off 15 miles west of Montauk, on a beach on shelter island. It was the weekend before July 4th, and the trio were making a raft and putting all sorts of debris on it, just for fun: watermelons, scraps of cloth, plastic swimmie duck, etc. When suddenly one of the guys finds a dead raccoon half-buried in the sand.


Now, my friend isn’t the type to take dead animals and set them on fire and float them off in the sea (he’s vegan), but, in his words, “this creature was honored with a Viking funeral, not merely exploited for crass entertainment.” Basically, though, they were just being dumb. “In the interest of full disclosure,” he admits, “this did happen shortly after a waterboarding endurance competition, and just before a clothespins-on-your-genitals challenge."

If we are to believe this account, which does - admittedly - have a ring of truth about it, then there is also pictorial evidence. Drew published these "photos which clearly show the scraps tied to the dead raccoon’s feet that were seen in the later photographs of the heinous beast", and concludes that "It wasn’t a viral marketing stunt at all, but just some kids setting fire to a dead animal and then pushing it off to sea with a watermelon and some floatie wings."

Seems fair enough to me. It also seems like the sort of dumb thing I would have done at that age, and probably when I was considerably older. I don't think I would ever have done the clothespegs thing tho...

4 comments:

Long live the New Flesh said...

Dude, Drew is a girl's name.

Mark-B- said...

Also used as a short version of Andrew, male.

borky said...

Jon Downes: "don't think I would ever have done the clothespegs thing tho..."

O, so you're a David Carradine* type, then, Jon...?



*RIP, Grasshopper, RIP...

ManoDogs said...

What about the new one?

http://oddblog.theweirding.net/2009/05/has-montauk-monster-returned.html