Eat yer heart out Edward Lear

Those of you who have read my book, The Owlman and Others which is set in the woods around Mawnan Old Church in southern Cornwall, will know that there is an ongoing sub-text about Edward Lear. Lear (1812-1888) was a painter, poet, artist, writer and composer of nonsense poetry and limericks. His work is also the subtext of Seven Sunflower Seeds by one of my favourite authors, the late Sir John Verney an author who's glorious prose should be read by every fortean.

I quoted both Verney and Lear in The Owlman and Others and so I suppose that I should not be overly surprised at the latest developments surrounding the new Beast of Falmouth Bay It was seen in a set of woodlands which join on to the woodlands where the subject of my most well known book is said to roost.

These woodlands are already the home of a twisted, scarified owl, and now seem to be the haunt of a sililarly twisted and scarified pussycat. We confidently expect a visit from the pigs, and a pea green boat. Watch this space....

http://www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/ns/pussy.html

UPDATE ON TWISTY CAT

We have contacted the RSPCA's legal department as to the legality of breeding such deformed creatures. To do such a thing is tantamout, in our opinion, to intentionally breeding children with a genetic abnormality such as de Lange Syndrome because they look "sweet". After some research the RSPCA told us that the case of the twisty cat was a tricky one.

There is currently no legislation stopping people from breeding any kind of cat in the UK. However because the nature of the twisty cat's deformity prevents them from acting in a normal way, this could be seen as cruelty. Hence each case involving a twisty cat would be looked at on a case by case process.

However, the whole subject seems so absurd that one is reminded of the wonderfully grotesque internet hoax of the `bonsai kittens` about ten years ago. This was a website that claimed to give instructions on how to grow kittens in bottles as a form of decoration, similar in fashion to a Bonsai tree. Soon after birth the kitten is supposedly placed in a glass container, allowing the kitten to grow to fill the vessel that contains it.

The kitten allegedly breathes through specially drilled holes in the glass and may be fed and expel waste through tubes, and their purpose is supposedly as an elaborate ornament, instead of a pet. This was completely fallacious, and whilst we thought it was funny, lots of people believed it and much merriment was had by all. If the twisty kittens do, indeed, turn out to be a hoax then no-one will be happier than us. However, we think that is highly unlikely. Sadly, this disgusting practise is genuine.

Thankfully we have so far found no publically accessible breeders of these unfortunate creatures in the UK. However, if we come across any evidence that there are indeed such people, we shall regard them as legitimate targets and will take appropriate action ourselves, whether or not the RSPCA choose to do so.

Does that mean that we are prepared to take the law into our own hands if we feel ethically bound so to do?

Hell yeah!

RICHARD FREEMAN: THE FALMOUTH CREATURE; A SAD POSSIBLITY

I don’t like cats, I never have, I’m a dog man through and through. Cats decimate small mammal and bird populations. Around he world they are responsible for a number of extinctions the most famous being the Stephens Island Wren (Xenicus lyalli) that was found only on one small island in New Zealand and wiped out by introduced feral cats in 1895.

I wouldn’t be wantonly cruel to a cat, or indeed any animal, though. Which is why I find what discovered last night very disturbing.

In an answer to my posting on the mystery beast of Falmouth and its possible identity as an aye-aye or a springhare a lady called `Eve` suggested it was something called ‘a twisty cat’. I had not heard of this before so I did some research.

Twisty cats, also known as `squittens` or `kangaroo cats` suffer from a deformity of the radial bones in the front legs. Known as Radial Hypoplasia it causes the front legs to become stunted and almost useless. Sometimes the cat can walk on them in a wobbly fashion but in other cases it hops on its hind legs.

Radial Hypoplasia can occur as a mutaion in nature on rare occations but in the USA there is a sick trend in breeding these unfortunate animals for his specific deformity.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/11/06/twisty-cats-so-adorable-its-retarded/

Every time I think I can’t despise the human race any more, my own species proves me wrong. I sincerely hope this appalling trend is not getting a foothold in the UK.

I hope the Falmouth beast is not a poor deformed cat, but Occam’s Razor says it’s more likely than a springhare or aye-aye.

I’m hoping to contact the eyewitness herself but in the meantime here are some pictures of cats with this sad deformity, bred on purpose for the entertainment of sicko humans.