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Half a century ago, Belgian Zoologist Bernard Heuvelmans first codified cryptozoology in his book On the Track of Unknown Animals.

The Centre for Fortean Zoology (CFZ) are still on the track, and have been since 1992. But as if chasing unknown animals wasn't enough, we are involved in education, conservation, and good old-fashioned natural history! We already have three journals, the largest cryptozoological publishing house in the world, CFZtv, and the largest cryptozoological conference in the English-speaking world, but in January 2009 someone suggested that we started a daily online magazine! The CFZ bloggo is a collaborative effort by a coalition of members, friends, and supporters of the CFZ, and covers all the subjects with which we deal, with a smattering of music, high strangeness and surreal humour to make up the mix.

It is edited by CFZ Director Jon Downes, and subbed by the lovely Lizzy Bitakara'mire (formerly Clancy), scourge of improper syntax. The daily newsblog is edited by Corinna Downes, head administratrix of the CFZ, and the indexing is done by Lee Canty and Kathy Imbriani. There is regular news from the CFZ Mystery Cat study group, and regular fortean bird news from 'The Watcher of the Skies'. Regular bloggers include Dr Karl Shuker, Dale Drinnon, Richard Muirhead and Richard Freeman.The CFZ bloggo is updated daily, and there's nothing quite like it anywhere else. Come and join us...

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Monday, August 08, 2011

RONAN COGHLAN: THE COLLECTED SERMONS OF THE REVEREND JONATHAN DOWNES, D.D.

Sermon Two

You may remember that in my last sermon I touched upon contributions towards the church roof restoration fund. I am sure you were all inspired by my homily, yet I would point out with regard to what appeared in the collection plate that Monopoly money is not legal tender, nor is money issued by the Bank of Toytown (Noddy and Big Ears, Proprietors). There is nothing particularly humorous about wrapping a piece of chewed gum in tinfoil to make it look like a coin. I was, however, pleased to receive the I.O.U.. for £500 and I hope the donor, Mr Bugs Bunny, will be able to pay up promptly.

Now to my next project. I feel it is time the Irish were converted. For too long this barbarous nation has had the gall to live near a respectable country like England and has been allowed to wallow in grot and Guinness. Their unkempt and scruffy speaker whom they send over to Weird Weekend surely epitomises their need for conversion to wholesome well-washed Anglo-Saxon Protestantism. I am therefore sending my curate, the Reverend Richard Freeman, to spread the message on the yonder side of the Irish Sea.

I now turn to one of the most pressing theological questions of today: Dendrogamy. Should Christians be allowed to marry trees? I feel the answer is yes, because it would be branching out. It does not mean I bough down to radical opinions. I do not intend to end up out on a limb, but rather to take a leaf out of the radicals' book. I myself, when young, developed an attachment to a fetching little sycamore, but that is another story.

Finally, I want you all to open your Bibles and read the Prophecy of Habbakuk. I can't remember what's in it, but my throat has gone dry so I can't be ar---- I mean bothered to preach any more. While you read, I shall quietly lubricate my larynx with this bottle of vodka I keep in the pulpit for just such emergencies.
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