MARCH ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE THIRTY ODD YEARS AGO

Yesterday on my mail-out to Usenet I quipped that in Woolsery March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse, and received a number of perplexed emails. Hopefully this SNL script from my youth should explain.


Chevy Chase: Last week [on Weekend Update] we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi, with a seasonal report.

John Belushi: Thank you, Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March, true to form, has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that's how March works here in the United States.

But did you know that March behaves differently in other countries? In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus. Or, take the case of Honduras where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.

Let's compare this to the Maldive Islands where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant; a tiny, little ant about this big [holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart].

Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.

Or consider the Republic of South Africa where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has a mane, and one doesn't have a mane. Or in certain parts of South America where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a giant anaconda. There you can buy land real cheap, you know?

And there's a country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while, and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then - then - then for a couple of days it's sort of a cross between a - a frilled lizard and a common house cat.

[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him] Wait, wait, wait, wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a - like a wild dingo. Now, now - and it's not Australia! Now, now - you'd think it would be Australia, but it's not!

[Chevy again tries to interrupt him] Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a tapir. And they don't even know what it means! All right?

Now listen: there are nine different countries where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a golden retriever. But that - that's not the weird part! No, no; the weird part is - is the frog. The frog - The weird part is- [Belushi has a seizure and falls off chair]