Cryptozoology on the radio again

On Sunday night’s Morton Through Midnight show the regular cryptozoology feature Morton’s Mystery Creatures focused on that most terrible of phantom animals the Noggle.

The Noggle is a type of water horse which hails from Shetland. It has left the lonely lochs so often haunted by these creatures and instead is to be found near water mills, but only when the mill wheel is turning.

The Noggle is said to resemble the rather cute and friendly-looking Shetland pony. But this one isn’t satisfied with the odd carrot or sugar lump; like all of its kind it prefers human flesh, particularly that of millers. How it came to have such a special diet is unknown, perhaps it was trying for a healthy lifestyle with grain for extra fibre.

This water horse has a rather specialized way of hunting. After finding the mill of choice, no doubt with resident fat miller, the beast walks up to the wheel and proceeds to stop it mid spin. And how does it do this? It simply bites it, giving you some idea of the brute strength of the creature; and if nothing else, it proves the Noggle has a fine set of powerful choppers.

The first thing the miller would know of this visitation is when his quern stone juddered to a halt. Picture his surprise when he pops outside to see what’s fouli

ng his wheel and all he finds is a rather lovely pony standing there, looking as innocent as only a big eyed horse can.

Not only does the Noggle look harmless it is also saddled and bridled, just awaiting a rider. Does it cross the miller’s mind as to how the pony arrived there? Does he care that its original rider may well have fallen into the mill race and be responsible for clogging the wheel? Now, if the miller is a greedy and gormless fellow he may well mount the animal. But no sooner does he do so than he realises he is doomed. The Noggle shows its true form and races off across field and moor on its way to the sea. And considering you are never more than three miles from the sea in Shetland this isn’t going to be a long journey. The miller finds himself stuck to the saddle unable to escape. The journey ends abruptly when the Noggle reaches the sea and plunges into it, rider still attached. A flash of flame shows the horse’s passing, and the end of the miller.

Of course not all millers fall for this doe-eyed evil pony. To rid yourself of the Noggle you apparently need to salute it with a fiery brand - whether the brand is really for saluting or for beating the creature about the head isn’t recorded - either way the Noggle takes the hint and scampers away.

You can listen to this show on the following link morton through midnight it is 23 minutes 25 seconds into the show.