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This story was first published in the Guardian Weekend October 26 1996. It was the first in a series of travel pieces called CJ Stone's Britain. This is the original version of the story. The published version was less than a third its length, and didn't include the all-important Church of the Resurrection story.
Dog's Bollox
There's an apocryphal story about Cardiff, that during the plague they buried some of the victims alive. People say that this is the reason that Cardiff has so many delinquents and messed up people wandering about
Illustration by Graham Rounthwaite
"It's the Mothership!" he said, leaping across the room to pump Steve's hand. "I always call him the Mothership," he added, turning to me, "cos that's what he is."
We're in the Flyhalf and Firkin in Cardiff, drinking Dog's Bolter, at a scuffed wooden table, on scuffed wooden chairs, surrounded by all the necessary accoutrements and symbols of a bar that takes its theme from the game of Rugby. The beer is glutinous and sickly and very, very strong. You get the feeling that it was supposed to have been called the Dog's Bollox, only the brewery had backed down. The stranger beams us an extravagant smile, and purses his lips. He has on a striped Burton's shirt with the cuffs ripped off, and his hair is cut short at the sides but long at the back. He is noticeably thin. That smile is almost child-like. It's as if he's trying to please the grown-ups. His eyes are charged with electricity.
"You're looking well," Steve says. "What have you been up to?"
"I've been in hospital," the other says. "I've been trying to get off the whizz. Two weeks without, and they chucked me out with a handful of Valium and a prescription for Temazipam. What good's that gonna do? So I had to get in a little powder to keep me goin', you know. But I'll be off it next week, you'll see. I'll be clean by the end of the week. I'll probably do a yard of whiz, and then that's it. I've always wanted to do a yard of whizz."
"Yeah, yeah, sure," I was thinking. "Where have I heard that before?" But it was a new one on me, hearing Steve described as the Mothership. Very apt: because there is something of the Mother about Steve - something nurturing and protective - while at the same time he reminds you of The Creature That Came From Outer Space. He's like a confused alien stranded on the planet, still trying to work out what the Earthlings are actually up to.
We caught a bus back to Ely, where we bought some chips. I had Chicken-off-the-bone, curry, rice and chips, because it was on special offer: £3 for a huge tray. Steve said, "when you need things heating up in here they say, 'do you want it in the microwave, or in the fat?' They say it like that: 'in the fat.' And 90% of the people say, 'in the fat'. That's what it's like round here."
I slept on the settee. Steve said, "the blankets are caked in Stonehenge mud, I hope you don't mind." I slept with them under my head. I went to sleep looking at a poster of a blue-skinned woman with violet nipples shaped like flowers and white hair and eyebrows who was glancing at me suggestively. Steve had said, "she's a spirit-being. She'll come to you in your dreams."
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NOW AVAILABLE FROM GONZO MULTIMEDIA
"Stone writes with intelligence, wit and sensitivity."
Times Literary Supplement
"Wry, acute, and sometimes hellishly entertaining essays in squalor and rebellion."
Herald
"The best guide to the Underground since Charon ferried dead souls across the Styx."
Independent on Sunday
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| SOME OTHER BOOKS BY C.J.STONE |
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The Journey Into... podcast features replays of old time radio shows. It also feature full cast readings of new and classic stories, as well as new flash fiction. This week it features a short story by my friend and sometime Gonzo Weekly contributor Richard Freeman, psychotic Gothboy of this Parish.
Check it out |
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YER GONZOID CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT
Hello -- how can I get ahold of a copy of the Quicksilver Hawaii 1970 cd set? Would an invisibility cloak assist?
thanks,
Michael
An invisibility cloak would certainly be an assistance, because then you could sneak up into a secret government laboratory, steal the time machine that they are undoubtedly building there with technology back engineered from the Roswell crash, and go back to Hawaii in 1970 and record your own version, having made sure that you use your invisibility cloak again to sneak into your friendly local hifi shop and shoplift some sort of hi-tech MP3 recorder thingy.
Alternatively you can just click on this link. I think that it was just out of stock last time you looked. |
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HAWKWIND NEWS
(The Masters of the Universe do seem to have a steady stream of interesting stories featuring them, their various friends and relations, and alumni). Each week Graham Inglis keeps us up to date with the latest news from the Hawkverse.. |
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Hawkwind name battle rages on
Graham often reads stuff about Hawkwind, but he's not used to encountering words like "laches," "estoppel," "Madrid Protocol" and "waiver" in the pieces. Today he's been pondering the legal documents that effectively form the initial battle lines in a fight over the Hawkwind trademark...
After Nik Turner went ahead with his attempt to trademark the band name "Nik Turner's Hawkwind" in the USA, Hawkwind leader Dave Brock filed his opposition to this. The challenge was on the following grounds:
False suggestion of a connection [with Hawkwind]
Likelihood of confusion.
Dilution [ie, weakening the Hawkwind brand - lessening its uniqueness].
Passing off [ie, imitation].
It seems that Turner considers North America to be fair game for a 'Turner Hawkwind' to operate in, saying (29 Jan) that Brock can't get a USA visa; that Brock actively conceals this from the Hawkwind fans, and that he (Brock) "has been untruthful to Hawkwind fans about his immigration and other legal problems."
However, a day later, a Hawkwind Forum Moderator made the following statement:
"Today I have seen evidence that confirms that Dave Brock holds a valid visa for North America. The period of the visa runs from 2 October 2013 (5 days before the planned initial gig in Toronto) through 'til 1 October 2014."
Brock's opposition document further stated, "The HAWKWIND mark is synonymous with the musical group led by Mr. Brock and with a high level of quality of music and performance. When the audience attends a HAWKWIND show, their expectations are high and they look forward to enjoying a particular kind of music and experience. Without Mr. Brock, the audience would not receive the HAWKWIND experience that it expects."
Turner's lawyer dismissed that, merely saying "Turner denies the allegations of paragraph 7."
Turner also denies there'll be any fan confusion, saying "fans of Hawkwind are sophisticated music consumers who know exactly what and who they are coming to see."
Hawkwind's record company, Cherry Red, has also opposed Turner's application to register the trademark, and Turner's legal representatives recently filed a motion to dismiss, basically on the grounds that the battle's nothing to do with Cherry Red. It seems the matter is on hold while that request is being considered.
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| 21st Century Crimson Glory |
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 King Crimson is reincarnate this year with Robert Fripp and Jakko Jakszyk leading the band, joined by winds wizard Mel Collins along with Tony Levin on bass and three drummers – Gavin Harrison, Pat Mastelotto, and Bill Rieflin. This will represent a major event in progressive rock circles as Fripp and his Crimson vehicle have a rich history as pioneers and practitioners of the form.
Of particular note for this new lineup is the inclusion of Jakko Jakszyk up front. Jakko led an alumnus group of former Crimson band members called 21st Century Schizoid Band in the early 2000′s. He was joined by brothers Michael & Peter Giles, Ian McDonald, and Mel Collins each from early versions of the band. They were captured live in Japan via high quality video production aptly titled “21st Century Schizoid Band – Live in Japan” in 2002, available from Gonzo Multimedia.
For any fan of live concert video and the early work of King Crimson, this disc is a must have both for it’s content and expert production values. The track list is rich with early Crimson gems, absent from the stage for so many years. After the end of the 1970′s, Fripp primarily performed “Lark’s Tongue in Aspic part II”, and “Red,” from the 70′s period, both amazing instrumental classics, but representing a pretty limited span of the band’s rich history. Occasionally another early track has been performed, but this release includes a wealth of material from their first four albums including four songs from their debut, In the Court of the Crimson King. Other gems like “Catfood” from In the Wake of Posieden, “Formentera Lady” and “Ladies of the Road” from Islands, two from McDonald and Giles, and other solo work are included. Another early live release available on CD, Pictures of a City -Live in New York, includes tracks from Lizard, which had never been performed live. Read on... |
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..This line-up - the 8th in the band's history - will be Fripp, Gavin Harrison, Bill Rieflin, Tony Levin, Pat Mastelotto, Mel Collins and Jakko Jakszyk.
...."The first performance will take place in either North or South America," Fripp told Uncut. "There will be rehearsals primarily in England, and the final batch of rehearsals will most likely be in America in August or September 2014. There is a plan to include the UK in the tour dates, but it depends on a number of circumstances. Right now the primary geographical focus is the United States." — with Jakko M Jakszyk, Robert Fripp, Bill Rieflin, Tony Levin Official Page, Mel Collins, Gavin Harrison and Pat Mastelotto. |
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| THE YES CIRCULAR - FRIED GREEN TORMATOES |
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| The Court Circular tells interested readers about the comings and goings of members of The Royal Family. However, readers of this periodical seem interested in the comings and goings of Yes and of various alumni of this magnificent and long-standing band. Give the people what they want, I say |
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| This has been a really paltry week for news from the Yes camp. There has been practically none, and because I have been away for most of the week it hasn't been possible to search too hard for some. I suppose that I could always make some up, but I don't think you would believe that Kylie Minogue and Chris Squire are collaborating with members of The Residents to make a Throbbing Gristle tribute album. So we are stuck with a mildly interesting opinion piece about why the band changed their image in the 1980s. |
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There is also a peculiar interview with Rick Wakeman in which he expresses the wish that famous Olympic ice skaters will recreate his legendary 1975 King Arthur shows. But, that's it for this week. Just two stories. Hopefully next week will be a little more fruitful.
I am probably getting a bit OCD about all of this, but I find the Yes soap opera of sound to be absolutely enthralling, and I for one can't wait to see what happens next!
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Changing the world one gift at a time
The worldwide Freecycle Network is made up of many individual groups across the globe. It's a grassroots movement of people who are giving (and getting) stuff for free in their own towns. Freecycle groups match people who have things they want to get rid of with people who can use them. Our goal is to keep usable items out of landfills. By using what we already have on this earth, we reduce consumerism, manufacture fewer goods, and lessen the impact on the earth. Another benefit of using Freecycle is that it encourages us to get rid of junk that we no longer need and promote community involvement in the process.http://uk.freecycle.org/ |
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NEIL YOUNG SAYS NO
BOB DYLAN HAS NO HOPE
Now Pete Seeger has left the room
who will sing to for and with us?
For this is all he asked-that we sing back
in comfortable chorus,with lyrical truth
and this is where one voice becomes all voices-
call and response,echo and reply-a people's choir
on streets,in bars,wherever people are gathered
there will always be a need for song/and no one voice can carry us all along
Now that Pete Seeger has gone,who will be our minstrel troubadour?
Who will demand change with harmonic petition,simple instrumentation,basic integrity?
Folk traditions will find a way to be heard-over the too loud TV and the silent iphone
Your human voice ,wrapped in the skin of history,will find a way to sing with others
for the sake of being human,in trust that others will sing along..
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In Victorian times every well-bred Gentleman had a 'Cabinet of Curiosities'; a collection of peculiar odds and sods, usually housed in a finely made cabinet with a glass door. These could include anything from Natural History specimens to historical artefacts. There has always been something of the Victorian amateur naturalist about me, and I have a houseful of arcane objects; some completely worthless, others decidedly not, but all precious to me for the memories they hold.
But people send me lots of pictures of interesting, and, may I say, peculiar things. But once again this week it is over to my lovely wife...
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Framed One Direction handpainted oil canvas. Superb unique artwork!
And for just AU $2,995.00 (Approximately £1,590.18)
Is it me or do they look as if they have stepped out of the pages of a 1950s school yearbook on this painting? Or perhaps they are supposed to?
I have no real idea, or much interest, what these children look like in the - for want of a better word - flesh, so I cannot comment on whether this is, indeed, a piece of superb artwork, at least with regard to whether or not the artist concerned has captured a true likeness. All I know is that they are one of those spawnings from ‘The X-Factor’; one of those excruciating tear/faint/squeal/scream-inducing abominations of young girls’ fantasies who bedeck their bedroom walls with every picture they can possible lay their hands on.
Of course I bedecked my bedroom walls with posters of various males, but they were cool, because the music of my day was cool. And, let’s face it, having the x-factor meant something else then, i.e. a noteworthy special talent or quality or a variable in a given situation that could have the most significant impact on the outcome (as put by a dictionary). Hmmm? Ah, I see. That is why they called the programme ‘The X-Factor’ …… ah, clever. It is because the winners have ‘a noteworthy special talent’. Wow. But a quick check has supplied me with the information that this particular boy band came third – ha that means they don’t have the x-factor then after all.
Okay so they must be good-looking then…. after all, if all else fails, good looks will act as a suitable magnet to attract the pocket money from within the pockets of all those wailing and weeping young girls.
I tell you what though. I bet that I am not the only one who is hoping that the name of this boy band means they will take a single route as far away into the uncharted places of this world as soon as possible. In other words, get lost.
Music Memorabilia News
‘Is it possible to know just what items of music memorabilia will be most sought after in years to come?’ asks Sports and Music Legends Memorabilia. ‘Let’s just put it this way: if you’re one of the lucky ones who’s snapped up a ticket to Glastonbury 2014, keep hold of it’, they continue.
‘120,000 tickets gone in the space of an hour and a half. No Glastonbury has sold faster – and small wonder…’ they go on.
Why? Well, apparently, rumours are rife that the festival will mark the return of one David Robert Jones.
http://www.sportsandmusiclegends.co.uk/music-memorabilia-news.php
Elvis P
I have discovered that in September 2012 a bible, which once belonged to Elvis Presley, sold for £59,000 ($94,000) at auction in Greater Manchester. According to the article from the BBC the 1,600-page book was given to the singer by his Uncle Vester and Aunt Clettes in 1957.
A pair of the singer's unwashed pants were also on sale at the Omega Auctions in Stockport, but alas were not sold as bids failed to reach the reserve price. Here we go again – bidding available for unwashed underwear. Apparently: ‘Bids for the stained underwear reached £5,000 but the reserve price was £7,000.’ Well bust my gusset, what a shame and a surprise - the latter being that the bids got that high!
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SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION TIME
Just in case you are interested, here is yer beloved Editor at iTunes
   
Check it out now... |
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| INTRODUCING THE NINE HENRYS |
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There are nine Henrys, purported to be the world’s first cloned cartoon character. They live in a strange lo-fi domestic surrealist world peopled by talking rock buns and elephants on wobbly stilts. They mooch around in their minimalist universe suffering from an existential crisis with some genetically modified humour thrown in. I think Peter McAdam is one of the funniest people around, and I cannot recommend his book The Nine Henrys highly enough. Check it out at Amazon.
Each issue we shall be running a series of Henrybits that are not found in his book about the nine cloned cartoon characters who inhabit a surreal world nearly as insane as mine...
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The Weird Weekend is the largest yearly gathering of mystery animal investigators in the English-speaking world. Now in its fifteenth year, the convention attracts speakers and visitors from all over the world and showcases the findings of investigators into strange phenomena.
Cryptozoologists, parapsychologists, ufologists, and folklorists are descending on Woolfardisworthy Community Centre to share their findings and insights. Unlike other events, the Weird Weekend will also include workshops giving tips to budding paranormal investigators, and even a programme of special events for children. The Weird Weekend is the only fortean conference in the world that is truly a family event, although those veterans of previous events should be reassured that it is still as anarchically silly as ever!
The event is raising money for the Centre for Fortean Zoology, the world’s only full time, professional cryptozoological organisation. The profit from food and beverages goes to a selection of village charities, mostly working with children.
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| the running order (so far) for the 2014 event |
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THE WORLD OF KEV
Kev Rowland |
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| RAIN Mexican Way (AURAL MUSIC) |
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| There is nothing new about a hard rock band releasing an album of acoustic numbers, although generally these are live recordings and are standard versions of their own songs with some covers thrown in. To my ears the finest example of this is Tesla’s ‘Five Man Acoustical Jam’, which is just stunning, but having heard this I may have to rethink just how good that actually is. Firstly, Rain are an Italian hard rock band who have been around for more than thirty years. I know this because I looked it up, but I am still having some issues coming to terms with it as take it from me this doesn’t sound in the slightest bit Italian. In fact, I was convinced that they were Tex Mex, with some songs in Spanish and some in |
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English, but they seem so much at home in the languages and feel that they had to be either Mexican or American, but Italian? Okay, so we all know that the finest Westerns of all time are the spaghetti versions, but music? Really?
What we have here is a band playing mostly acoustically (electric bass), who are bringing together Alabama 3, Johnny Cash, Tina Turner and the B 52’s into an amalgam of all that is good about Tex Mex. Powerful rhythms, great guitars, and vocals that never sound European manage to convey incredible depth and emotion to what they are doing. There are a few covers on here, with “Ride Like The Wind” being way better than the original (always liked the song but not the performance by Christopher Cross) and “Times Like These” being stripped back and very different indeed to the original by Foo Fighters.
There are some reviews of this album on some metal sites where it has really been critically destroyed, but that is due to an issue with small minded reviewers where they feel that if it isn’t heavy then it is no good. But, what we have here is actually one of the most intriguing albums I have ever heard from this label, certainly it is the most unexpected. |
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| STEVE HACKETT Genesis Revisited: Live At Hammersmith (INSIDE OUT) |
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| Was there ever a band quite like Genesis? Through their ranks have been some of the most commercially acclaimed (Phil Collins, Mike & The Mechanics, Peter Gabriel) and critically acclaimed (Anthony Phillips, Tony Banks, Daryl Stuermer) artists of the last 40 years. But, to my ears there is one who stands head and shoulders above all these, Steve Hackett. Since leaving Genesis he has pursued many different styles, including classical, and has been in the odd ‘supergroup’ (GTR, Squackett) as well. His albums are always, without fail, finely crafted pieces of work and always immensely enjoyable. Back in 1996 he decided to revisit some of the Genesis songs he felt most close to, then repeated the exercise last year and toured with a show guaranteed to make any diehard Genesis fan drool at the mouth. |
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To put some things into context. Steve was with Genesis from 1971 to 1976, recording four studio albums with Peter and two with Phil. From those six (plus one solo song, which was co-written with Mike Rutherford so can justifiably be included) he has produced a live album of 150 minutes in length. Back in 2007 Genesis reformed and performed to massive audiences throughout Europe, but of the set they produced on their ‘Live Over Europe’ album only two complete songs are the same as here. Genesis moved on when Phil took over lead vocals, and again when they were reduced to just three in the studio, and many fans talk about the Gabriel period or the Collins period being their particular favourite. Me, I’ll say that the Hackett period is the one that suits me best thanks very much. Of all Genesis albums recorded with Phil on vocals the first three are easily the best, and I’m not a massive fan of the albums pre-Steve (although “The Knife” is and always will be an absolute classic).
Listening to this album is at first a blast from the past, as I spent my formative years listening to these songs, but then it turns into something far much more. Musically Genesis has always been controlled by Tony Banks who is an incredible musician (and very under-rated), but although he is also a guitarist he is first and foremost a keyboard player so the arrangements have always put the guitars somewhat in the shade. Now we have classic songs (mostly forty years old remember) given new life by a guitarist in control of his own band, with the additional confidence of always being on the road and proving himself time and again. He has mostly stayed very true to the originals, but when he has the opportunity to crank his guitar out he certainly does. “The Musical Box” may start gently, but it rips into a version that gives the song much more life and drama than one could ever imagine from the original. Also of particular note is the ending of “Shadow of the Hierophant” which is intense, powerful, moving and compelling all at the same time.
This album is what I always refer to as a review killer as once it hits the player all I want to do is hit ‘repeat’ and it takes concerted effort to move on to something else. If I had to ask for one song that isn’t on this set it would probably be “Squonk” but that is picking straws as we have everything else from “Supper’s Ready” (all 27 minutes of it) to “Eleventh Earl of Mar” from the criminally overlooked ‘Wind & Wuthering’. I could play this album all day, every day, and just wished that I had been able to see this performed. But as I live on the wrong side of the world I was unable to do so, so I will just have to keep playing this instead. Superb.
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| TESTAMENT Dark Roots Of Thrash (NUCLEAR BLAST) |
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When one thinks of what this band have been through over the years it is something of a surprise to know that they are still going. But not only are they still going, they are producing some of the most incredible tight frenetic metal one could ever wish to hear. First off, whenever Gene Hoglan is behind the kit the guys in front of him have to lift their game as otherwise he will leave them for dead – easily one of the most influential and important drummers of the whole metal scene – so Greg Christian locks in and keeps his head down while Alex Skolnick and Eric Peterson do what they do best, namely play guitar as if their lives depend on it. Then secondly at the helm is the man who refused to let a little thing like cancer stop him, Chuck Billy is a legend and this performance shows why that is.
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Released with as a DVD/CD set I only have the one hour and forty minutes of music to listen to, but that is plenty to take in, as this is as brutal a set as one could wish for. The passion in “American Hate” is palpable while the fans at the Paramount in Huntington, NY back in February obviously had a blast. If you had been at the show that night this is what you would have got rammed down your ears. Apart from their most recent album I haven’t played much testament over the years but after hearing this I see that I am going to have to revisit my opinion of them as this is immense. All power to the production of this, as every nuance is captured as well as the sheer over the top metalness of it all.
Thrash rarely, if ever, gets better than this. Here is a live album that belongs in every metalheads collection.
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| SILENT VOICES Reveal The Change (INNER WOUND) |
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| Silent Voices was founded in 1995 by guitarist Timo Kauppinen, bassist Pasi Kauppinen, drummer Jukka-Pekka Koivisto and keyboardist Henrik Klingenberg. At the time their main influences were Dream Theater and Rush. A couple of years later the line-up was completed when Michael Henneken joined in on vocals. They may have had a break for a little while (six years since the last album) but they are now back with their fourth full-length release. Henrik and Pasi are also members of Sonata Arctica, and instead of replacing Michael (who left after the last album) they have instead brought in some guests to help them out, so vocals on this album are provided by Mats Levén (Therion, Yngwie Malmsteen), Tony Kakko (Sonata Arctica), Mike Vescera |
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(Loudness), Yngwie Malmsteen, Obsession) and Mike DiMeo (Masterplan, Riot). To ensure that they got the sound right, it was mastered by Ted Jensen (Bon Jovi, Dream Theater, Megadeth).
The results is something that is progressive metal through and through, and will appeal to fans of both that genre and of those who want their metal to be melodic and hard hitting and may not normally think of prog as being their thing. The musical quartet behind this album have been playing together for years and it shows, as they trade runs and are tighter than a Mayan wall. The drum fills are wonderful, with real inventiveness that add to the overall sound without detracting from it, while Timo can surely shred with the best of them. Henrik has a very fluid style, moving between different sounds to get the best from each section of a song while Pasi can also take the lead when he wants to, but is often to be found at the back providing wonderful counterpoint to the main metallic proceedings.
Needless to say, with singers of this standard the overall result is nothing short of superb, and here we have a prog metal album that is probably more of the latter than the former, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing and here we have something that is hard hitting and fun throughout. If you haven’t come across this band before, and it has been a while since their last album to be fair, then you owe it to yours ears to get this now.
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Nox Arcana
Nox Arcana is an American neoclassical/dark ambient musical duo, from Cleveland, Ohio formed in 2003 by Joseph Vargo and William Piotrowski.
‘Nox Arcana specializes in concept albums based on gothic fiction and classic horror literature. Such literary references include H. P. Lovecraft, Bram Stoker, The Brothers Grimm, Ray Bradbury, and Edgar Allan Poe. Some of their albums also make reference to medieval themes and ancient mythology.’
These guys really do set the mood, if that mood is dark and stormy. Nox Arcana are maybe not for those who prefer uplifting and clap-happy tunes, but if you are sitting in front of the fire on a wet, wild and windy night slowly reading your way through the pages of a gothic horror novel then these are the chaps to listen to. They will set the scene perfectly.
Check out their website
Go to YouTube and have a listen:
The Great Old Ones
Pirates
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THE BEST LAID PLANS...
It has been a totally peculiar week because nothing actually worked out anything like the way we were expecting, but as always seems to be the case, we got there in the end. |
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I suppose that's why I call this column what I do. because my life never works out the way that I think I am going to.
I was chatting to the lovely Liz Lenten after the Jefferson Starship show this week, and she was telling me how she now has a Project Manager to organise things. I don't think that I could even organise getting a Project Manager, other than either Mother or the Orange Kitten. |
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The week has been very much overshadowed by the death of Pete Seeger. He was 94, and at that venerable age, death can not really be said to come as a surprise, but he was a giant amongst men, and the world will be considerably poorer without him. The fact that there are no less than four poems in this week's issue which Thom wrote to pay tribute to this remarkable man, is testament to what a giant, and an inspiration he actually was.
His legacy truly will live on. Or at least, it had better do if there is any hope of saving this poor benighted planet from the clutches of destruction.
Rest in peace Pete. |
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