CRYPTOLINK: 11 Crazy Bigfoot Conspiracy Theories

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Whether or not you believe in Bigfoot, chances are you live pretty close to somebody who does: Sasquatch sightings have been reported in every state but Hawaii over the course of several centuries. In the process, a number of bizarre theories have been put forth to explain how the mysterious beasts came to be, reproduce, and constantly evade us.

1. A DNA TEST PROVED THAT BIGFOOT IS A PART-HUMAN HYBRID… AND DESERVES U.S. CITIZENSHIP!

Texas veterinarian Melba S. Ketchum claimed last November to have proved via sasquatch DNA sample that the legendary apes are partially human. She even went so far as to insist that the Government recognize them as “an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights."

2. THE GOVERNMENT SECRETLY REMOVED BURNT SASQUATCH CORPSES FROM MOUNT ST. HELENS AFTER THE 1980 ERUPTION.

Following the disaster, a few witnesses reported seeing federal helicopters carrying off the charred remains of several sasquatches from the area. Prior to the eruption, Mount St. Helens had already been a hot spot for supposed “ape-men” sightings since the 1920s. In fact, so many of these stories were recorded that a nearby gorge was eventually named “Ape Canyon.”

Read on..