Back in the day, my editor the late Simon Wolstencroft and I used to play a game called 'Fantasy Journalism' during which we concocted unlikely headlines. He drank himself to death three years ago, but if we ever needed proof of a life after death, this is probably it. Over on the afterlife he must have had a hand in this preposterous (but true) headline.
http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2011/08/gordon-ramsay-sex-dwarf-eaten-by-badger.html
Does it surprise anyone that this story appeared in the "Sunday Sport", a comic for the brain dead.
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