Yes, it is true. I did provide a quote for a mildly smutty story in the highly dubious British tabloid The Sunday Sport last weekend. Yes, it was a joke, and yes, I owed a favour to one of the journalists who helped us many years back when we were chasing a crocodile in Cannoch. No, I didn't get paid for it. No, I don't believe that the picture they printed shows bigfoot playing leapfrog, or engaging in non-standard breeding behaviour. No, I won't be reprinting the article here, although it will find itself in the CFZ archives. This blog is family-orientated and the offending article is inappropriate. Yes, I have a smutty sense of humour to the desperation of my wife. No, although my wife is a feminist, she is still speaking to me....
Monday, November 01, 2010
BIGFOOT BUFOONERY
Yes, it is true. I did provide a quote for a mildly smutty story in the highly dubious British tabloid The Sunday Sport last weekend. Yes, it was a joke, and yes, I owed a favour to one of the journalists who helped us many years back when we were chasing a crocodile in Cannoch. No, I didn't get paid for it. No, I don't believe that the picture they printed shows bigfoot playing leapfrog, or engaging in non-standard breeding behaviour. No, I won't be reprinting the article here, although it will find itself in the CFZ archives. This blog is family-orientated and the offending article is inappropriate. Yes, I have a smutty sense of humour to the desperation of my wife. No, although my wife is a feminist, she is still speaking to me....
Bigfoot stories in the Sport? Blimey, you don't get many of those to the pound, missus!
ReplyDeleteYou know, this does raise some interesting biological questions. If we assume that Bigfoot is an ape, then when was the common ancestor between Bigfoot and humans, and had the human secondary sexual characteristics started to evolve by then?
ReplyDeleteI personally would say not; a lot of the human sexual characteristics depend on bare skin, which only evolved on the plains of Africa as a means of losing heat during active pursuit hunting, which presumably postdates the common ancestor of ourselves and Bigfoot; the Bigfoot species presumably diverged a couple of million years prior to this time around the time that Orangs diverged off the group, possibly as a northern temperate forest ape.
I therefore hypothesise that Bigfoot sexual characteristics are adapted to life in a food-poor, cool temperate woodland environment, where Bigfoot individuals would be fairly widely separated, and not live in close groups for much of the time; an animal that size would simply not be able to find enough food were it in competition with several others. This means that the signally has to be pheromonal and possibly infrasonic in nature, to allow individuals to signal to each other over long distances.
This all leads on to one fundamental question regarding the article: was it accompanied by a soundtrack and a scratch'n'sniff card?