MIKE HALLOWELL: Northern Long-tailed White-hooped Squirrel

The other day I was told an interesting tale by a reader of one of my newspaper columns, informing me of a curious encounter she had whilst out shopping. I've had a few curious encounters myself whilst getting the groceries in; normally with police officers, obnoxious children and those seeking donations for obscure charities. I have never, however, had an encounter with a cryptid as this woman allegedly had in the vicinity of her local Netto store.

Her tale goes something like this: at 4.30pm last Wednesday she parked her car and walked towards the entrance of the supermarket, fully intending to purchase a range of exotic fayre with which to please her spouse and offspring, of which she had one of the former and three of the latter. Her mission was interrupted, however, by the appearance of a decidedly odd thing. The thing, she said, was something like a large gerbil but it had a very long tail and two white hoops encircling its nut-brown coat. The creature – which I have provisionally named Geordicus loonyata, or the Northern Long-tailed White-hooped Squirrel – scampered off in the direction of ASDA (possibly preferring their two-for-one deal on frozen peas) and was never seen again.

To all CFZ bloggers and readers, I would make an appeal: can you tell me what this creature was, what the hell it was doing in Tyneside and most importantly, would I be given a bloody big reward for catching it? END