Our postbag is always a rich and peculiar thing. In amongst the general detritus of everyday life such as telephone bills and final demands are a selection of arcane letters and packages which keep us sane. Today was no exception....Another wonderful inclusion in our postbag came with a package marked 'Costume Jewellery', which arrived yesterday. Forewarned, I gave it to Graham, told him to open it and plant the contents in some plant pots full of potting compost. He looked at me as if I had finally lost the plot.
"Why do you want to plant costume jewellery in the garden?" He asked.
"I don't," I replied. "It is not costume jewellery."
"But it says it is costume jewellery," replied Graham in the sort of exasperated voice with which one talks to a particularly recalcitrant idiot child.
"I know it does," I replied smugly. "But when you open it you will find that it is actually peculiar onions that look like triffids, which were sent to us by a Bloggo reader who shall remain nameless (although his future as an international plant smuggler is in doubt, because he put his real name on the packet). He only labelled them `costume jewellery` in order to bypass any unpleasantness from the authorities, about sending biological material through the post."
"Oh," said Graham, whose eyes had glazed over by this time, and went off to plant the triffid onions.
I forgot to photograph them as they arrived but photographed them at an unholy hour of the morning after I had been outside with Biggles....
(Thank you very much to our un-named benefactor)
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