THE KILLARNEY LAKE MONSTER by Richard Muirhead

In my room, I gleefully pull the lever hidden
Under my desk, an attempt to change history again, (oh, when will I ever succeed?)
The lever transports me to a copse, by an Irish lake
Hidden from view from humanity.

On my journey there,
In a U.F.O. in mid air
I have changed into black clothes and a red ziggurat hat
To look like Mark Mothesbaugh of Devo.

Suddenly I madly gesticulate
And `Whip It` plays out loud
Stirring the murky depths
And Cuddles emerges, to playfully sport
On the autumn waves,
Whilst several Forteans exult and record the event for posterity.

Several months later,
During the freezing cold winter of 2009-2010
The Natural History Museum, London, is hushed, - in awe of the strange skull
But listen – (noises off )
`Space junk`Space junk`!
Oh God it`s Richard singing Devo again!