Yesterday’s News Today

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Friday, more often than not, means it’s time for the Friday fact. This week I found this gem tucked away among the dusty esoteric tomes of the CFZ library’s restricted section:

Before he became a historian Simon Schama was actually part of a gang of youths that roamed castley-fields up and down the length of Britain looking for discarded brass bedsteds and tickling the chins of stoats all for the amusement of the gang’s Fagin-like and pogostick-fanatic leader Charles Hawtrey. When a policeman caught Schama in the ruins of Kenilworth castle lugging around a bedsted that clearly didn’t belong to him he was asked to explain himself. Schama trotted out the cover story that he was a historian and wandering around castley-fields and using props to illustrate the points he was making was his job. The policeman denounced this story as “Poppycock” and frogmarched the young lad to Cambridge university where he was forced to enrol in a history degree as a punishment for telling lies. Years later Schama had the last laugh as he made three series of a documentary featuring him wandering round castley-fields using props to illustrate the points he was making for the BBC.

And now the news:

RSPCA: Hedgehog numbers may be at risk from rat poison

A Rhinostone Cowboy

Unusually large St Bernard litter

Extinct Seabird Rediscovered In Laboratory

Koniks horses set to help another nature reserve

Police hunt wolf after sighting in Lothians

Not my own pun today but rather a joke I found online that amused me and is vaguely related to wolves:

Three Indian squaws are about to give birth and consult the Medicine Man for advice. The Medicine Man tells them to give birth on the hide of an animal whose characteristics they want to see in their offspring.

The first squaw gave birth on the hide of a lion to give her son the bravery of a lion. She had a brave son.

The second squaw gave birth on the wolf's hide to give her son the wisdom of a wolf. She had a wise son.

The third squaw gave birth of the hide of a hippopotamus and had twin sons that were both brave and wise.

This is yet another proof of the Pythagorean theorem where the squaw of the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.