BOOK REVIEW: Fancy Dress Ponies by Katie Price

CFZ Book reviews: Fancy Dress Ponies by Katie Price

When it comes to birthdays and Christmases at the CFZ there is somewhat of a tradition between Jon and I of getting odd or peculiar presents. My best find for Jon so far has been an Oscar Wilde action figure and last Christmas Jon bought me a padded ‘Lazy Town’ lunch box as a joke. The lunchbox actually came in handy though as it was exactly the right size to fit my Nintendo Wii into for transport back to my mother's house for Christmas, thus cushioning it from any bumps it might get on the train journey.

For my birthday today, however, Jon upped the ante and bought me a book. The book in question was Fancy Dress Ponies By Katie Price. For non-Brits I should probably explain that Katie Price aka Jordan is a pornographic model with overly large fake ‘tatty bojangles’ (as Russell Howard would say). Perhaps not the best role-model for your kids, then. It makes you wonder what sort of parents thinks to themselves “Oh, I know; I’ll get a book for little Guinevere. Let me see what books are here in the shop… JK Rowling - nah. Ooh, how about an Artemis Fowl book; they’re actually better than Harry Potter, I hear… No. What I want to get her is something written by a chav famed for getting her bits out in rightwing newspapers… What’s this? Katie Price’s Perfect Ponies? Bingo!”

Now, I wanted to write a hilarious review for you all about how this book was illiterate drivel and how the illustrations are the best thing about it, but I actually can’t. The reason for this is that, much to my dismay, as books aimed at primary school children go, its actually not that bad. I won’t be going out and buying any more in the series or adding it to my Amazon wish-list (shameless link as it’s my birthday: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/NKVEPLBLP1EL) as it’s not really my sort of thing of course but the book is well written for a children’s book. Enid Blyton would have little to worry about but I can’t really fault the book. However, given the current behaviour of its author (or the one who plotted it, because I’m sure its ghost written) I can’t see even the chaviest parents buying it for their kids, which is a bit of a shame really. Still, because of that it could become a minor collectors item in a few years and worth a few bob. Ta Jon.