How do you fancy a VERY weird weekend?

In the last six years the CFZ Weird Weekend has gone from a makeshift and very anarchic gathering in a tumbledown Church Hall in an Exeter suburb, to being the second biggest fortean gathering in the UK. Apart from the Fortean Times Unconvention there is nothing that can touch us. We have actually become so popular with the latest event - a month ago - that we have outgrown our venue in Exeter and have to look for a new home. Coincidentally this has happened at the same time that I have moved house from Exeter to the country, and for the past few weeks we have been looking for a new venue.

We now have one.

I know that there has been some unease in the CFZ camp at the idea of doing a Weird Weekend out in the country, and I am aware that people felt some trepidation about the idea of having the event in a village hall in the sticks. However, we have now concluded negotiations with the management of Woolsery Community Centre, and the next event will be held there on the weekend of the 18th-20th August 2006.




The venue is fantastic. Until I went there this afternoon I was completely unaware of how smashing the place is! It is a fully equipped conference centre with a bar, ample parking and anup-to-date lecture theatre that can hold at least 150 people. We have cinema style seating, a proper PA, stereo cinema projection and even a proper dressing room for speakers.

We have taken the old concept of the Weird Weekend as far as we can. Now, the new event is on the horizon, and it will be a proper community festival with theatre, art exhibitions and workshops as well as the three days of speakers. We may even have live music! So far the following speakers have been confirmed:

BOB MORRELL MBE: The Cryptozoology of ancient Egypt
GORDON RUTTER: Talk tba
LIONEL BEER: Treacle Mines
CHRIS MOISER: Talk TBA
RICHARD FREEMAN et al: The 2006 Expedition reports

Foolish People theatre company will be attending once more, and we hope to be announcing more speakers soon.

We will be running a minibus from Barnstaple Station, and as far as accomodation is concerned, low cost B&B, camping facilities (some even on site), and some more expensive hotels for those who want them will be available.

More information will be released soon, so watch this space......

Sad news...

Jill Martin of the Tortoise Trust has died. From their website:

Jill Martin

1953 – 2005

16 September 2005

The Tortoise Trust has just lost our dear Jill, co-founder and guiding light from the very beginning. Earlier this year, Jill collapsed suddenly from what turned out to be a brain tumour (metastasis). This was successfully treated by means of neurosurgery and radiotherapy, by the wonderful team of doctors and nurses at Morriston and Singleton hospitals in Swansea, Wales. Jill made excellent progress and was soon back at work, as ever, tending tortoise patients and running the Tortoise Trust office. Unfortunately, the brain tumour was secondary to a very aggressive cervical cancer, and despite all efforts, in recent weeks, Jill’s condition deteriorated rapidly. She died today, with her family and friends.

Jill Martin was a pioneer. She was one of the very first people to see the need for better keeper education, and for improvements in the veterinary management of sick chelonians. She played a vital role in developing many of the husbandry and rehabilitation methods that are now commonplace and accepted as standard, such as effective nutritional management to prevent MBD, the importance of substrates and microclimates, the development of effective indoor/outdoor habitats, and techniques for nursing sick tortoises back to health. Although many do not realise it, Jill Martin was there at the beginning and inspired and developed these techniques from nothing. As a field-worker she was a bundle of energy, with an amazing and acute eye for natural history detail. She was a tireless worker for tortoises and turtles. She worked 7 days a week, and never complained. She answered thousands of phone calls and letters from worried keepers, and was always available to take in any sick or unwanted tortoise. She never turned a sick or needy animal away in all of the 30 years that I have known her. She was a wonderfully talented musician, an artist, and faithful friend and colleague.

Don't talk to me about life.....

When I started this blog a number of people told me that they, too, had started blogs, but although they had begun with a full flush of enthusiasm,, they had soon tired of the task and the blog had fizzled out. I am sure that when any of these Job's comforters see that there is a gap of several days (bloody hell its a week - I hadn't realised that it was that long) in this ongoing missive they assume that I, too, have succumbed to the malaise of would-be bloggers everywhere.

Not so dudes!

Life has just been immeasurably busy, and I have had to prioritise with the calls upon my time. I was ill for several days, then I had the glorious distraction of my darling Corinna coming down for the weekend, and now my father is ill again and taking up much of my
time.

However, Mark North is back in the office together with me and John Fuller this week, and I hope that we shall be able to get a lot
sorted over the next few days.

The CFZ is at a crossroads. We have been going for nearly a decade and a half now, and we have nearly gone as far as we can under the current set up. Over the last week I have received two excellent proposals for expeditions, but they are both expeditions that will need far more funding than we presently have. The Centre for Fortean Zoology, for many years, was a haphazard and anarchic bunch of people - basically “The Last Gang in Town” as Joe Strummer would have said. Now, we are the biggest and fastest growing cryptozoological organisation in the world and have been becoming ever more respectable as the years continue.

However, if we are to achieve the goals that we are now setting ourselves we must achieve a level of mass-acceptance that has to date eluded us. The CFZ has become remarkably succesful, but the time has come for us to court the sort of sponsorship and investment that we will only get with mass acceptance. The CFZ has to become a more `normal` organisation, which is why the Weird Weekend next year will be much larger, but much more community orientated.

We have to tread a fine line between respectability and `selling out`. Although we must gain more credibility in the eyes of the general public, I will NOT let the CFZ become a bland and dull organisation. Whilst the time forsome of the excesses of the past is now gone, I am very much aware ofthe pitfalls into which other organisations have fallen; in trying to be all things to all men, they have signally failed to be anything to anyone. This will NOT happen to the CFZ.

Somehow we have to tread a fine line between credibility and obscurity. "The Last Gang in Town" must carry on, but it is time that we shed some of our most overt eccentricities and became accessible to everyone!

Counting my chickens

Manic Depression ain't a fun disease and Diabetes ain't a doddle either. I was up a few hours yesterday, but had to give up and return to bed. Apologies to everyone whom I was supposed to do anything for and with yesterday - or today, for that matter. I have been in bed for about 40% of today - but have managed a few bits.

Some years ago, my friend Tim Matthews was talking at the Weird Weekend. For those of you not in the know Tim is one of my closest friends in the bizarre business of fortean journalism, and he is also one its most enigmatic and controversial figures. His shadowy past has been linked with ultra right wing political groups, covert military intelligence, political chicanery and skulduggery, football hooliganism and a long standing feud with self-styled bastion of left wing morality Larry O’Hara. He has been accused of everything from membership of the ultra right wing terrorist group Combat 18 to being an establishment spy sent to “destabilise” British UFOlogy.

As, by and large, British UFOlogy is the last refuge of many people who are so eccentric that their behaviour borders on, and in some cases goes far beyond total insanity, the idea that the British Government (or indeed any other Government) has the slightest interest in destabilising it is frankly laughable. Whatever Tim is, or appears to be, he is one of my dearest friends, and he was on stage, having delivered a fine lecture, when he came out with one of the best bon mots of his career:

"I can state here and now, that it is not true that my research is - or ever has been - funded by the FBI, CIA, MI5, NSA or any other Governmental Body, but this cannot be said about Jon Downes. After all, much of his research has been funded by the DSS"

This brought the house down, but it is true. When I was diagnosed with Manic Depression nearly a decade ago I was signed off sick and told necver to work again - a stricture which I have done my best to ignore. However, I am seriously ill, and whilst my conditions are not life threatening they are chronic, and I will be a semi-invalid for the rest of my life.

Now, I ain't telling this because I want people to be sorry for me. I don't. But as this blog is an attempt to explain what I do and why I do it, I feel that it is better to be honest from Day One! I am a Manic Depressive, a Diabetic, I have congestive Heart Failure, and a dozen other diseases, all of which will probably conspire to kill me earlier than I would otherwise go...

BUT

and this is the big BUT.

I ain't gonna let any of this beat me. For as long as I am able I shall continue to run the CFZ to the best of my ability. However, I received a letter the other day, from an old friend, who asked - straight out what would happen to the CFZ in the event of my demise.

This is a fair question, and particularly so from him (because he is planning to donate a large number of interesting and valuable odds and ends to our putative museum, and he wants to know that his family treasures will be safe). I have arranged the CFZ, so that on my demise (or pernmanent incapacity), the organisation will continue to be run by a three man committee. Graham Inglis (Deputy Director) and Richard Freeman (Zoological Director), will be joined by Mark North who (despite his protestations), is the obvious person to take over my role, should I die prematurely.

Our constitution can be seen on the website, and Chris Moiser and us are planning to put the whole thing in legalese as soon as possible. Also - on my death - the vast majority of my personal property, including houses/land becomes property of the CFZ.

BUT

and this is an even bigger BUT

I have no intention of dying just yet, so you guys are stuck with me for the forseeable future!

PS. To further bring down a blog entry of some degree of maudlinity, some of you will remember Dave Rowe who was married to my Cousin Pene. He attended the 2002 Weird Weekend. Sadly he died on tuesday. Remember him and more importantly Pene and Andy, in your prayers.

Also, our friend Jill Martin from the Tortoise Trust is seriously ill. remember her in your ptayers as well....

Pink wasn't well (he stayed back at the hotel)

Many apologies to everyone who tried to get hold of me yesterday. I was far from well, and spent the day in bed...mostly asleep. I have never made any secret about my poor state of health. To be quite honest it has been a double-edged sword; because if I had not been registered disabled nearly a decade ago, and told not to work again, I would not be in the position that I am now, and the CFZ as we know it would probably not exist.

However, all this is as may be. I was extremely unwell yesterday, but I am better today and ready to get on with another exciting day's labours in the cryptozoological vineyard.

Watch this space....

A country boy again

08.15 Life in the country is different. A testament to that is that Graham and I - historically slugabeds, who would not rise before noon if we could help it - get up bright and early each day, but today is taking it to extremes. I was up and out of bed by eight, and now - twenty past - I am making the old man a cup of tea, before (if everything goes to plan) starting work at nine! I have a full programme to get on with today. I have done absolutely damn all to Tropical World despite Simon wanting it started last week, and I have tons of CFZ stuff to do. Add to that a certain amount of domesticity to be indulged in (Corinna is coming down this weekend and I don't want the place to look like a tip), and one will be aware that I have a full programme ahead of me for the next few hours....

08.45 Memo to self: don't wake Dad up early because you want to have an early start in the office. Despite protestations to the contrary, he is a creature of habit and has got used to not being disturbed before nine! The post has come: a music video for John Fuller, a pile of Pink Floyd bootlegs for me, and an order for two more copies of Dad's book, together with a cheque for eighteen quid. Not a bad start to the day!

10.45 Successfully achieved practically nothing so far. I am seeing the accountant at 11 (something I forgot completely) so I have assembled a trenche of bills and accounts for him. I have also done most of my post, tinkered with my guitar, and stared out of the window a lot. Maybe getting out of bed early isn't a good idea....

19.15 And I thought that it was such a good idea :( I was intending to log on every hour or so and give an update of what I assumed would be an ordinary day at the CFZ. But of course it wasn't any such thing. A whole slew of dull, un-newsworthy things happened, and Graham has spent the afternoon in Exeter collecting the master copies of all the old CFZ yearbooks. So, another bright idea bites the dust.

You CAN judge a book by its cover..........

Mark North will be returning to us in a week or so. Then the next wave of CFZ books will be available. I am particularly proud of the production values we have managed to achieve on the books so far. I think that Mark has done a remarkable job, and without blowing our own trumpets, I am amazed that we have come so far in less than ten months. Only a year ago our books were all still homemade and blotchily photocopied.

As we learn more about what we are doing the product is getting better and better. Just look at these:

Its only Rock and Roll..........

Being even more of a klutz than usual, I arrived 24 hours early for my Godson's birthday party. Never mind, I stayed for tea (and btw he was seven NOT six), and spent a pleasant evening en famille, in a way that - sadly - living in bachelor splendour with my Papa, Graham et al, with only visits from Corinna every couple of weeks or so, I have not done for a while. All in all, it is probably a good thing that I never procreated, but it is at times like yesterday evening, when I find myself - almost by accident - sitting happily in the midst of a family teatime, that I come over all wistful :(

Never mind - as Marianne Faithful has been wont to say `what cannot be cured must be endured blah blah blah`, which brings me - slightly tortuously - onto the subject of the new Rolling Stones album. Whereas once upon a time each record was a masterpeice, and until Black and Blue in 1976 they really didn't put a foot wrong, since then, the records have got progressively worse, with the notable exception of 1990's Steel Wheels, which was excellent. Now - with what will probably turn out to be their final studio album - they are back with a vengeance. A Bigger Bang is certainly the best album they have made since the mid-1970s, and for the first time in thirty years, it is possible for an old Stones freak like me to actually proselytise about a new album. Go and buy it, guys - you won't be disappointed.

Apart from bouncing around the office pretending to be Keith Richards (when I am sure that no-one can see me), I have spent most of the day working on Dad's book, and so I apologise to everyone who has written to me, and to whom I have not replied. Graham is having a day off tomorrow, so I shall put my shoulder to the wheel and get on with it properly...

Cowshit and Creosote

Another day, another dollar.

I am overwhelmed by the response that has happened to the CFZ Volunteers list. Everyone is rushing around being busy little beavers, and I am feeling quite embarrassed that I will be spending the day doing family stuff when everyone else is working. Graham will hopefully have the broken links on the website fixed today, and it looks as if - starting next week - there will be a whole host of exciting new features coming along!

Living in the country rather than the city never ceases to be a delight. Who would have thought that Graham and I would be up early in the morning breathing in the country air (which today smells strongly of cowshit and creosote), and getting to work well before midday? John goes back to Exeter this morning; I am just about to drive him to Barnstaple, but he will be back on Monday. Only another week to go and Mark returns, and the CFZ will have nearly a full compliment here. All we need to do now is to get Richard and the dog up here, work out some way of getting Nigel to leave Exmouth, (and have Mark Martin skulking in the bushes), and the CFZ family will be together again.

But what have you done TODAY???????

Hard at work in the CFZ office
The CFZ personnel work out here on a rota. Today Graham and I have been joined by John Fuller (administrative assistant), who lives at the old CFZ base in Exeter.


John hides behind a teetering pile
of copies of Animals & Men#36

John has been printing off copies of the new journal of the CFZ (bloody hell! Is it really 36 issues already??? Graham has been proofreading one of our next book releases: The Beast and I by Paul Crowther. It is an amusing and often exciting look back at ten years of searching for the `Beast of Bodmin` and its kin, written by the one-time lecturer in photographic studies at Plymouth College of Further Education.



A preview of the cover for Paul's book which will be out by the end of autumn

What have I been doing? Well, apart from working on my father's new book - a history of Pre-colonial Africa - I have been working on a project that is very important to me. For years we have had people offering to help the CFZ on a voluntary basis, but we have never made a concerted effort to marshal these resources.

We now have a Yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CFZ_Volunteers/ and we are actively seeking volunteers - so c'mon guys, sign up!



The CFZ is open to all; young and old...
Dad and John Fuller hard at work

Getting it together in the Country....

The rural CFZ
For years I have lived and worked in a rather nasty little mid-terraced house in Exeter. It was bad enough living there as a young married couple back in 1985; but for the last ten years, divorced and sharing the place with a succession of mad cryptozoologists, it has become untenable.

Then in June it all changed. My mother died three years back and since then my elderly father has been rapidly declining in health. He has always refused to move out of the old family home or to have a carer live with him, but by early summer he was far too ill to live independently. His condition was so bad that when he called to me for help I thought that he was not going to last more than a couple of weeks. Graham (Deputy Director of the CFZ) and I moved in immediately, leaving the CFZ office in the lurch. However, Dad began to respond to treatmentb and although he will never recover, he is no longer in imminent danger of leaving us.

Within weeks the entire CFZ office was being run from rural North Devon, and it has worked out on every level. Dad now has people to take care of him 24/7, we have room to move for the first time in years, and I no longer have to live in that grotty little house, in that grotty little estate, in that grotty little suburb....

Plea in Mitigation

For nearly a decade and a half I have been running the Centre for Fortean Zoology - the world's largest cryptozoological research organisation. As it says on our website front page:

'At the beginning of the 21st Century monsters still roam the remote, and sometimes not so remote, corners of our planet. It is our job to search for them. The Centre for Fortean Zoology [CFZ] is the only professional, scientific and full-time organisation in the world dedicated to cryptozoology - the study of unknown animals. Since 1992 the CFZ has carried out an unparalleled programme of research and investigation all over the world.'
We have no outside funding, and all our money comes from membership fees, sales of our books, and donations. However, we not only manage to keep going, but over the years have mounted expeditions across the world - most recently to Mongolia (2005) in search of the fabled Mongolian Deathworm, to Puerto Rico (2004) in search of the grotesque vampiric chupacabra, and to Sumatra (2004) in search of a legendary bipedal ape called Orang Pendek.

People often comment that mine must be a wonderfully exciting job - after all, I lead a team of monster hunters, and haven't had a haircut in years! It is very true; what I do can be very exciting indeed, but it is often far more prosaic.

Because we are funded by public monies, I feel that it is only appropriate for us to share our activities with the people who pay for them. Therefore (and I can't remember who's idea it was; probably Corinna, my girlfriend's) I shall attempt to keep this blog going. I don't promise to do it every day, but I shall try to keep everyone who is interested up to date with what we all actually do here at the CFZ.

Once I have managed to keep this going for a while, I shall use my position of moral superiority to try and get some of the other core members of the CFZ team to do blogs as well. In certain cases it might well be the only way I shall ever find out what the buggers actually get up to all day....